I remember just not to long ago I wasn’t happy, I was insecure, always depressed, emotional, angry, and it was the worst to ever go through. Although I knew I had depression/anxiety, I know that wasn’t the reason why I was so unhappy. I just always been a confused person. I never really had support, or never knew the feeling of someone caring for me. I was a negative thinker. I would think everyone was against me and always wanted to compete with me for some odd reason. Like growing up it felt like when I did progress in something someone always wanted to top me… and I never knew why. And I was never confident to feel that people were jealous or wanted what I had because I never really had much honestly.
I felt like I’ve never seen eye to eye with people and sometimes I would put on an act as if I agreed with them because people use to always say I’m a disagreeable person. Which is very true, I was. I just was always the outsider. I thought extremely different from others and no matter how much I tried to stay in with the new I know that I’m the person that’s always in with the old. When family come over I would be anti-social and stay in my room the entire time. It’s not because I’m not talkative because I actually talk entirely to much, but it’s because I just never felt a vibe with my family. But why? Why would I need to vibe with my family when it shouldn’t matter? But I can’t never answer the question because I definitely don’t have the answer to that. Now i do know that family is important, but honestly i still feel the same. Maybe i just don’t click with them i guess…
Now, I can truly say I can wake up with a smile on my face. No matter if I’m broke, going through a struggle, having relationship issues, or whatever I got going on in my personal life. I came to a conclusion that I wasn’t happy, and I haven’t been happy in a very long time. So I started doing things that I know that would make me happy.
For an example:
•Go out for drinks
•Write my thoughts
•Go to the movies
•Read a good novel
•Do a good cleaning
It’s the small things that can brighten your day. We all have our issues and we all have times where we might be lost and need time to find our way. It’s okay. Coming from my perspective I feel like anyone can get through pain, confusion, and anything else they are going through. Figure out what makes you happy, and what makes you feel comfortable. You have to stay positive at all times and believe in change. When you do that, you will definitely see a big change in your life. Knowing the truth and admitting to your flaws is the #1 step to moving forward. You have to be honest with yourself before you be honest with any else first. I realize I didn’t put myself first, I would put everybody before me. That got me no where. Now that I put myself first “Not to sound selfish”, i feel more dominant and open to be more happy with others around me. My past made me stronger today!
All & All keep working and building on loving yourself. Don’t use your past as a regret, use it as a lesson learned. It’s your time to put your health first.
Hope I was able to inspire others with this blog, it was definitely my whole purpose to show others that they can get through the toughest storms. Even if they don’t know exactly what is wrong with them, but they just know they aren’t there selves. I want others to continue to win, lead, and succeed. 2019 is OUR YEAR!